Is that not a thought provoking phrase? “Hole in your Soul” – that phrase was used in a speech given by one of our newer Toastmasters. Her topic was SELF LOATHING, which is something that is familiar to me, and possibly to everyone alive at one time or another. How many times do we beat ourselves up with name calling and self deprecation because we feel inadequate or incomplete? We do this to ourselves because it is something we learned when we were children. Each time we were told “No!” or “Don’t act that way” or “You can’t do that!”, were learned that we were displeasing someone or doing something wrong and finally it became apparent that many things we did were wrong, and soon we fell into compliance with whatever anyone wanted us to do just so we wouldn’t be in disfavor. But, those words were always in the back of our minds and even after we reached adulthood, when we realized that we displeased someone by our actions, we felt that we were bad in some way.Call it “self loathing”, or call it “poor self-esteem” it all adds up to not feeling adequate in some way and hating ourselves for not being as good, as strong, as pretty, as smart, as thin, as virile, as handsome, as strong, as caring, as loving, as – as – as- as someone else that we compare ourselves to.
This speaker went on to say that “self loathing” is caused from a “hole in the soul”, that we try to fill up, and I agree with her. Whenever we fill our lives with a multitude of “things” things that are not necessary to make us happy, we are trying to fill that hole in our soul. When we give in to our cravings and when we overeat, we are trying to fill the hole in our soul – we are trying to comfort ourselves for what we feel we lack. Only love of one’s self and love for others will fill that hole. Once you learn to really love yourself, you will find that you are at peace and no longer need outside sources to satisfy your inner self. You can do this easily by sitting in a quiet place and calmly think about all the good things about you – those really wonderful qualities you have – those great successes you have accomplished – those moments of sheer joy in living that you have shared with a loved one – those things that truly made you happy – think about those and put those self-limiting, inadequate, uncomplimentary thoughts away – mentally put them in a large manila envelope, seal that envelope and put it in the filing cabinet way in the back of your mind, lock the cabinet so they can never be seen or heard from again. Fill the “hole in your soul” with love – your life will never be the same.
Think Thin Thoughts!
Adinear
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